What if?
by Choice Creations
Summary: This series of three ficlets is based on the last scene of Series 2, episode 4 which is wrought with so many opportunities for Kim and Sugar to reveal some honest truths about how they feel about each other, but don't.
1. Chapter 1

Series/season 2, episode 4 of Sugar Rush has one of my favorite scenes that I would love to see played out differently if I had my way. This series of three ficlets is based on the last scene of that episode which I feel is wrought with so many opportunities for the girls to reveal some honest truths about how they feel about each other, but don't. So this my opportunity to write about what "woulda/coulda" happened if…

Summary: What if Sugar answered Kim's pertinent question differently.

Kim pauses apprehensively, her eyes wistfully long for the answer she wants to hear, but is so afraid to hear the truth, "I mean…you don't want me or anything? Do you?"

"Don't be stupid," Sugar bites into every word.

"Then why can't -"

"I'm not sure!" Sugar says as she nervously averts her eyes away from Kim's widened pair. "It's all fucked up. _I'm _all fucked up about this…about what happened in London -"

"Ya! My heart and your sordid experiment," Kim says as she throws her coat at Sugar.

"It was more, Kiz," Sugar blurts. She contemplates whether or not to continue, surprised at her own blunt admission. Staring in another direction, not daring to look into Kim's piercing green eyes, Sugar says, "It was the first time that I ever felt…something …with anyone. I'm usually too twatted to remember who I'm fucking, who's fucking me. But with you, it was...different. It was...the first time I always dreamed of."

Sugar's soulful brown eyes and unusually coy smile topple Kim's defenses. Kim sits on the bed and folds Sugar's warm hand into her own as she says, "It doesn't have to be the last time, Shugs."

"I don't know. I can't," Sugar shakes her head and pulls her hand away. "I suppose at some point you'll want me to start declaring myself a muff-diver, no doubt?

"Unbelievable," Kim says sarcastically, throwing her hands in the air. "Since when have you _ever _cared about -"

"Well I'm not doing it," Sugar snaps. "My life is shit as it is. I've got no one. My mother's fucked off, I've no home. I barely got you."

Kim asks her question again, "Do you want me?"

This time, Kim does not wait for an answer. She does not need one. She strokes the side of Sugar's face and brushes a thumb across Sugar's full lips. Kim draws Sugar in closer, kissing her deeply which Sugar accepts with equal passion. Their eyes water as they embrace, their kiss suffused with a longing to make up for lost time.

Sugar reluctantly stops to ask, "What about S –"

Kim places a quieting finger on Sugar's lips and says, "For now…only you."

They kiss, leaning, falling into the new, un-christened double bed beneath them. Sinking further, deeper into the love they unwillingly had to put on hold.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: What if Kim addressed Sugar's pertinent statement differently?

Sugar: This is shit isn't it? I don't even know who I am to you anymore.

"What are you saying?" Kim asks without hesitation as she rolls over to face Sugar. "You are..."

Kim catches her breath as she is struck by Sugar's ineffable beauty - highlighted by the stripes of shadow and light cast across her face - and jarred by the sudden realization that they are in the same bed separated from each other's skin by only four thin layers of clothing. Kim raises herself onto her elbow so that she peers down into Sugar's sultry brown eyes.

"Everything," Kim whispers, her emerald eyes glistening in the room's dim light.

"You really mean that?" Sugar smiles.

"Let's see," Kim says endearingly, tilting her head to the side. "You're my best friend. You're my first. My first ever! And Tom doesn't count. Imagine! No one could ever have that. Not even…not even Saint."

Sugar smiles.

"It's settled then. You're stuck with me forever," Kim amuses.

"Forever?" Sugar says making a mock-grimace of disgust. "That's a rather long bit, in'it?

Kim gasps in shocking glee realizing that she's being teased and pounces on Sugar with wild, tickling fingers.

Sugar throws her head back and lets out a loud hoot of laughter; an unforgettable laugh that sends delectable shivers down Kim's spine.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: What if Kim told Sugar how she really felt about Sugar being locked up for 18 months instead of saying, "Forget it!"?

Kim: …although, you know, one mistake and you'll be locked up again.

Sugar: And you'd like that wouldn't you. Me back in my box.

Kim's face turns a shade of red that Sugar has never seen before. It isn't the pink glow of embarrassment that Sugar is used to conjuring up in her ever so gullible friend. This red is fiery, wild and spreads to Kim's ears.

Through clenched teeth Kim spews, "Do you really believe that I want you back in there? You really think that all those months were just about you, don't you?"

With Sugar stunned into silence, Kim continues, tears welling up in her eyes, "I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep for weeks. You don't know that. That blasted judge sentenced me right along with you. I cried for days just wanting…wanting to hear your laugh, hold you, kiss you, to…"

A scintillating tingle passes through Kim's body as a latent memory materializes: tentative fingers reaching up - sandwiched between warm, thighs - pressing into soft flesh, discovering a wetness, not her own, that Kim never imagined could stimulate her so much, turn her into a helpless puddle of want and desire.

Kim becomes flushed as she continues, "…to…uh…"

"Stop blubbering," Sugar says defensively. "I get it!"

"And that's just it, you don't! The whole while you acted like it was my fault you were there in the first place. Visiting you was like torture. Half the time I didn't know whether I went because I missed you, felt guilty, or because I got some masochistic kick out of your being an absolute bitch because that's all I could have."

"It wasn't fair!" Sugar retorts. "Taking Stella's credit, stealing a car and practically getting us killed! You should have had to do the time."

"If I had my way I would have been there with you. I would have done anything. I never wanted us to be apart after that night. Never. "

Sugar looks away and exhales an audible sigh of frustration.

"Why did you push me away?" Kim asks.

"Bullocks Kiz, what was I supposed to do? Hold onto some whimsical fairytale that we'd ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after once I got out?"

Bewildered Kim answers, "I thought we'd be something, you know….now. Did you ever?"

"I guess," Sugar says as she looks away. "I might've."

"Then maybe we can start over. Start like the last 18 months never happened," Kim says as she undresses for bed. "I could be waking up in a hotel room again, out of my glorious slumber, with the woman of my dreams. Thinking about all the wonderful things we just did and all of the things that I'd like to do to her in the morning…and in the afternoon…and…"

Not bothering to put on proper pajamas, and wearing only her undergarments, Kim slips under the bed covers.

"Her arms wrapped around me…" Kim continues to say as she pulls Sugars towards her. Sugar willingly submits to the lure as she cleverly fakes a disgruntled scowl to mask the smile of delight forming on her face.

When their bodies touch, they can do nothing more than submit to their need to hold each other as if they were going to drown and to kiss as if their last breaths depended on it. They whisper unintelligible words that are only heard as sensual moans.

"Kiz? What are you doing?" Sugar hazily wonders as Kim playfully inching herself further under the bed covers until her head disappears.

And from somewhere under the covers, between Sugar's warm body and the damp, sensual darkness, Kim says, "Everything you taught me."


End file.
